THE SOUNDTRACK

Be Here now. I loved the book by Ram Das. and reading his work really changed my life. As did this song on the same topic by George Harrison. So much time in my life I wasted worrying about things I could not change of control. the mediation today, is noticing the quality of breath, and staying here, not racing ahead in my mind. I long to have a heart that stays and does not wander around silly corners. I'm here now.

When I was really little, I was obsessed with Judy Garland. My mom bought me red shoes like Dorothy, and the Judy at Carney Hall, was the one album I played constantly. My mom worked for Capital Records, and brought me home stacks of records to enjoy, Here's one happy memory of a song I was obsessed with when I was 9. :)

Spiritual Power, is needed to lift us from our earthy bodies, to send us to our eternal form. This song is a prayer to the Holy Spirit as one of my best friends was close to the end of her life. It's on the MacKenzie Blues Band Album "Slam! Bam!". Through her cancer journey, she inspired and cared for so many - this song came as my prayer, to ask creator, and Jesus to carry her there, right on time. Yes, I was grieving maybe more than I have ever grieved for the loss of someone who meant so much to me, but at the same time, it seemed the only thing I could do. We were chatting on FB messenger, and I asked her if she's like to sing on this track, but she had lost the ability to talk at that time, and she was ready to say her goodbyes to me. I told her I was happy to do the heavy lifting for the both of us. Thank you to all the people in Rock The Sound choir who showed up to sing the choir harmony parts. If you'd like to feel her light, there's this beautiful short film her son Silas made about her. https://youtu.be/MZ6m1FPCWaY?si=THsfUntmCSMV6RLa

From "how to dismantle an atomic bomb" by U2, this week, I am singing a bit of personal commentary. Culturally, In my youth I viewed the dynamics of my Irish/British family, as fierce, critical, and full of emotional disregulation. Difficulty in expressing what we needed was like a weird labyrinth of fighting to be heard. lots of cut downs and criticizing. The term "if you say something, say nothing" was a common quip I head from my grandmother who mainly did the heavy lifting in my upbringing, or" Let the tears come out of your ass before they come out of your face", were common. Somehow, I was raised to understand that feelings are something to be suppressed. I learned that that model was not going to work for me. It was systemic, cultural and difficult to unwind, healing through the damage of colonial, compliance based culture. I had the luxury of growing up in an immigrant family in Canada, surrounded by people who had many ways to be, and I found my way through to my personal authenticity, and desire to be softer, kinder and more accepting of others as they are. This work continues through my life, but has been hard won. I'm not perfect. but I am trying. This gift of a voice I have been given, deeply feels the lyric in this song, "Can you hear me when I sing?" Thank you to Paul Hewson, who wrote those words. You might know him as BONO. Paul, I hear you, and thank you for showing up with authentic feelings and bravery through your music.

Some nights, when the mind won't drift towards the sleep we so deeply need, the replay of the day, the replay of our difficulties, and the state of society propel me towards the one form of medicine that never lets me down: singing. This week, I was saddened by the news that a member of the homeless community in my town passed away after consuming tainted drugs. He was severely disabled and always in pain due to his gigantism. His name was Aaron. I would sometimes offer him cash or a kind word when I saw him around town. He stood out, and his suffering stood out to me. It struck me how our city lacks a plan or even plans for a plan to assist the homeless here. They are often viewed as a burden, a hazard, and a danger. They are not seen as someone's son. They are not seen as individuals abandoned by our medical system and government. The ripple of this event set off an emotional nuclear bomb within me, and the only fitting song I could think of to express this difficulty is a powerful medicine song. It's by the Norwegian artist Aurora, who is a truly magical and spiritual lightning rod. I admire her energies that lead her listeners to healing and volcanic releases of energy. Hence, I decided that tonight, my addition to the soundtrack would be this song. Perhaps in it, you can hear my grief for the loss of someone who mattered. Someone who deserved better.

This week finds me reflecting on the many challenging motifs of our times, and how many strong people find themselves depleted, by the grind of the times. The difficulties and lack of real help for people, is breathtaking sometimes. This song is for you today if you are just hanging in. It's by Ingrid Michaelson. "Just Keep Breathing"

I choose love. My Anniversary celebrating love and commitment, caring for others and building community. This little song is by A group from Belfast called "ASH" but this very muffled recording of a piano performance by the amazing Duke Special, Has always resonated to me about my love with Trevor. I don't know what else to do today, except sing. It's all the tools I have for making the world a little brighter.

Written by my best friend when I lived in Amsterdam. in 1997 Stefan Van Maurik and I started this band called Satellite7, with Luc Upson and Chris Kattenburg- together and had many great musical adventures. They went on the become a pretty significant band,  as the line up developed and I moved on, splintering beautifully into many of the creative musical collectives alive still today in Holland. This song reminds me of Steafan's big amazing heart, and the care and support he always offered me.